Just a few thoughts

The experiences that happen in our lives, often only happen once, maybe twice. I want to remember some of these things so forgive my listing of thoughts on this public blog. One how death effects my children. On Wednesday night last week after our activity, I received a text. "Just FYI we are taking mom to the hospital, she can no longer care for herself." We had just stopped by and visited on Monday to see everyone, we have been tending to get more and more sporadic in our visits as our family life gets busier. Kaye had not looked good. She had not been eating, she had fallen several times, and no longer had the strength to hold her head up. She was very pale and in the past we have had her in the hospital for dehydration, she was at that point again. We waited to hear any news until about midnight then went to bed. Brent go up and went to work the next morning (Thursday). I got up and had all the kids ready as I was to present at an assembly for the school. While getting ready I texted to see how Kaye was and if we could come see her after Brent got off work. A short while later I received a phone call from Brent's sister saying the hospital just called and Kaye had stopped breathing. They were asking permission to resuscitate. Brent's two sisters that lived with Kaye were headed to the hospital. I waited to hear what they needed. I contacted my parents to have them take my kids and began the phone calls to all the other family members. In the process his sister called again and said the hospital had called and there was no response to their efforts. We still didn't know that this meant she was gone. My oldest overheard my conversation, by this time we were in the car driving, and burst out in tears. She asked if she could stay home from school. When I got the kids to my parents house, my mom called, she works at the hospital and rushed down to Kaye when she found out all that was happening, and told me she was gone. Then I called Brent and his siblings to have them come down. Brent had already left and we couldn't reach him until he got to the hospital. His other siblings just left what they were doing and came. This was around 8:30 in the morning. By 10:30-11 everyone was together and the complicated part started, what we do when someone passes away. Funeral arrangements, obituary, finances. Unfortunately we couldn't reach Brent's brother who lives out of state right away, so many of the decisions were placed on hold waiting to hear from him.
This was different than when dad died, because now they have the estate to discuss and what a discussion! Who gets what, don't yell, sale the house, keep the house, I don't know if owning anything is worth it. Sorting through someone else's lifetime is very complicated! Parents really are the link to a family. Now that link is gone it feels as though all things could fall apart very easily.